Can someone tell this guy that a lady reserves the right to ignore his advances? It is not automatic that a woman pays attention to his amorous advances. You approach a lady in an impolite out rightly disgusting manner and expect a response?

 I paint a scenario. This guy whistles or makes a lewd comment which was not said in a whisper but to her hearing. He expects her to just paste a pretty smile on her face then walk up to him in submission to his will to have a chat with her. She, fuming under her breath continues as though nothing has happened to avoid trouble. Yet she is judged. 

The guy in question should be thankful for the silence as I am certain the lady would spit venom. The poison from the venom would be too potent to handle in public. 

But no, the all-powerful guy wants to show that in he is male. The woman is made for him. His ego would not let him rest until he is messed up.

And then when the lady speaks in reaction to his rude proprietary call for attention, she is labeled arrogant or saucy. A female is not supposed to speak in such manner they say. Bystanders appear unable to lay the blame where it should be placed because it is supposedly ‘a man’s world.’

 As a matter of fact the society expects her to be grateful she is a center of attention. Even when the mood is not right?

The truth is everyone human being should be polite to the other regardless of the gender, status or age. The male and female dynamics is a give and take scenario. No room for lording over the other to get attention. I think that is actually arrogance.

Can someone tell this guy that a lady is worth more than to be seen as a mere object of romantic relationship?

This one guy only sees a lady from the perspective of a potential girlfriend, a girlfriend, someone’s wife. He believes all a lady should think of is to be worthy of being beside a man as whatever. She can only be a lover, a bedmate, a cook, a wife, a baby mama or any other role like that. 

A lady is not just an object meant to please the male folk. She has a brain like members of the other gender has. Alluding to dating a lady in every setting just does not cut it.

There are other things you can do with her. Why not try to forge a business relationship for a change. A mutually beneficial relationship could well lead to a romantic one. At least you have a shot at that since you have added value to her life.

A lady is perfectly capable of engaging with a man on other levels apart from dating or marrying. She has her temperament like a man does. Like a man who she also has to control it. She is not wired to respond to all stimuli pleasantly. That assumption of sit still and pretty is foisted upon her by the society. Allow her to live, to breathe like a normal human. 

The world has moved on from the era where women are silent homemakers to involving the female gender in activities outside the home. If that is so then she is a participant on the same field as a man. It is a level playing field.

 She engages in 9am to 5pm work hours without anyone, especially the male folk, requiring special treatment such as lesser assignments, higher pay and the like.

 Now she is a staff like any other. Now she is not seen as a special breed that should be kept in a showroom away from stress. But the moment she attempts to speak up, complain, assert her right she is judged based on her gender. She is read her gender rights. Even her own female folk remind her of gender requirements she should meet. 

This dynamics is an irony. You expect so much from her yet you expect nothing from her. She is expected to contribute too intellectually and economically yet she is seen as unintelligent outside that contributory role. 

Can someone please tell this man that this lady deserves respect as much as he does? Whether she is aware of her right to demand them or not does not take away from the fact that every human being has dignity which should not be eroded. 

Please tell him that she is his mother, sister, friend, daughter, wife, girlfriend above all a human being just like him.

Please tell this man that she will demand this respect if he doesn’t give freely. Tell him that she will take her dignity by force if it comes to it.

Remilekun T


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